Fight, Dream, Hope, Love, Les Miserables

One Christmas morning after we gathered in the living room by our Christmas tree my brother announced that we were going to see the movie Les Miserables.  I was not aware of this and was not overly thrilled to go to the movies on Christmas day and the first day of the movie being released.  It meant lots of crowds and I wasn't sure if mom was up to an outing of that type yet.

I really do not enjoying going out to see movies.  I find most of them repetitive, stupid, and boring.  To me it is a waste of time and money to go and see 95% of the movies in theaters today.  I had seen the advertisements for Les Miserables, but had paid little attention to them.  I knew it had been a Broadway show, but that was about it.

The theater was packed, and we were not able to sit together, but we got there on time and got seated before the movie started.  The movie opens and the sky is a dark grey and it raining, and there are thousands of chained mean toiling in this awful weather and within moments the singing begins.  I was hooked from that moment on.  The story, the music, the acting, all excellent.  The singing, very well done.

Les Miserables was written as a novel by a man named Victor Hugo in 1832.  The plot of the novel is over a 20 year time span and records the unstable French society at the time.  Things were bad in France at that time and even worse for those who were poor.  It was a time of epidemic disease, hunger, economic instability, labor conflicts, and political unrest.  In many ways it sounds like our world today. It's interesting that society does not change as much as we wish it would.

The heart of the novel, then later stage musical, and then film, is the character Jean Valjean.   He was jailed for stealing bread to save his sister's son who was starving to death and was sent to prison for his crime and later marked as a dangerous man when paroled.  He was treated with disdain after his slave imprisonment.  He could not find work or lodging and hated the world and everyone it in.  Then one day he stumbles across someone who looks beyond his appearance, and past and helps him.  As soon as he can he steals from the one who had helped him.  He is captured and will be thrown back into prison for breaking is parole and for theft.  Then something happens that Jean Valjean has never experienced before.  Forgiveness.  The man forgives him and gives him more of his valuables.  Jean Valjean is so moved by this man's act of forgiveness, that he decides to forgive as well and seeks redemption and becomes charitable to others.

I was not surprised to learn that the movie Les Miserables set a record of having the most tickets sold on opening day.  It is a great story of the human condition and heart that is played out over and over again in our world.  The location, details, and time frame may be different, but the overall situation is the same, forgiveness, redemption, and charity, they are all a part of what makes the human experience bearable and wonderful.  We all have the capacity for all three.  We must decide to forgive, to redeem, and to be charitable.  We also have to allow ourselves be forgiven, redeemed, and accept charity.  Seldom is there anything that is one-sided.  We have to be able to receive as much as we are able to give.

The movie logo says it all, fight, dream, hope, and love.  We know from Jesus' teaching the greatest of all of these is love.

Movie Trailer Link - click on it to see movie Trailer
http://youtu.be/VEUoMC5gm6A

Bible Verses

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

WTOP 103.5 FM Radio

I moved to the Washington DC metro area (which includes counties in Maryland and Virginia) in 2000.    It was a huge transition from Selma, AL.  There are so many more people, and these people are from all over the United States and the world.  Traffic is extremely congested and everyone is rude and drives like a maniac.  I only knew one or two ways to my job in Chevy Chase, MD which was mainly on Highway 495 with every one who dared to get in a car was driving on at the same time I was.  It was a lesson for me in what rush hour is all about.  It was a rude awakening.

I can remember traffic coming to a complete stand still on 495.  I would panic because I did not want to be late for work.  A co-worker told me to lesson to WTOP, 103.5 FM for the traffic report so I would know where the back-ups were so I could take alternative routes.  I had to learn what those routes were, and I did. Twelve years later and I am a WTOP junkie.

I was listening to WTOP this morning as I pulled out of my garage for 9:30 am Sunday service.  Usually traffic is not an issue Sunday mornings, but as I said I am a WTOP junkie, and I never know when or where there's going to be a traffic and/or whether incident.  I figure it's better to be safe than sorry.  The news was on when I started my car and backed out of the garage and down the driveway. Announcer, "Yesterday at 6:00 pm a 16 year old girl was killed in a hit and run accident.  She was hit first by a black Toyota.  She fell into the street when she was hit and was then run over by a tan mini van.  The driver of the Toyota stopped, but the second driver did not."  I was totally stunned, and feeling terrible for the young lady, when within 3 seconds another story came on, something about stolen crabs.  A young woman was killed in the street and she got a total of 20 seconds of air time on the radio.

When I got up this morning I picked up my Bible and read Matthew chapter 9.  Matthew was a Jew tax collector during the life time of Jesus.  He worked for the Romans and his fellow Jews hated him.  He was also one of Jesus' disciples.  He is also the author of the first book of the New Testament, which is the first Gospel listed, and it is titled his name.  I have read Matthew before, but this time it has become clear to me that Matthew could of worked for WTOP.  He was an eye witness account to much of the ministry of Jesus and he, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, simply records what happened, no more no less.  He gives no context, background information, additional details, report's commentary, or anything else.  It fits his former profession as a tax collector.  He just needed name and profession and he collected the tax, he could not get caught up in the details or he would not be able to do his job.

In verses 20-22, he mentions the woman with an issue of blood.  He does so almost in passing or a side note.  He does include she had been suffering for 12 years and that she had faith, touched Jesus' garment, and was healed.  This is such a powerful story and Matthew covers it in 3 short verses.  Luke, who was not a disciple, but is the author of one of the gospel also records the woman with the issue of blood, but includes more details, but once again she is a nameless woman, or as I like to think of it, every woman.

A young woman  killed in a hit and run,   What was the purpose of reporting this story?  How can it possibly mean anything to anyone outside her immediate family and friends?  I teach high school, so the young woman could of been one of my students.  I cannot imagine what she went through at the time of her death.  It had to be horrifying and extremely painful for her.  I cannot imagine the pain her family and friends are going through right now, and even the first driver who hit her.  A young life, with so much potential gone in a matter of terrifying moments.  Who was this young woman?  What can we learn from her life and death?  How will she be remembered?  How will her life be honored?  I may never know the answers to these questions, but hopefully someone who loved her well.

The woman with the issue of blood is even more remote and harder to empathize with.  I have written about her before.  There is so much about Jewish culture that comes into play.  This woman was considered unclean because of her issue of blood, which means she could not participate in the activities and customs of her own people.  You will not find that in that Bible, that requires research to know and understand.  She was also very weak, because of the loss of blood.  I have also written about the importance of blood to the body and how without it we die.  There is no way anyone can totally understand or empathize in the three short verses that Matthew wrote.  There was so much more to her story, the most important thing is, and this is what remains to be seen with the young woman who was killed yesterday, we know why this woman's story was told.  It was told to build up our faith, the details are not the focus, faith is.

I will continue to listen to WTOP and reading Matthew, but after much consideration, prayer, and writing this blog I am beginning to understand the style of reporting both entities follow, and even though it is not my style, which is much more detailed and in-depth, I hold it high regard it because it has a purpose.



Praying that you will have a safe end of the holiday celebration.  Happy New Year!!!

Matthew 9:20-22 - Remember one of God's names is Healer

New International Version (NIV)

²⁰ Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. ²¹ She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”
²² Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.”And the woman was healed at that moment.

A Lesson on Forgiveness

I thought I knew all about forgiveness.  I was wrong.  I know that my sins are forgiven because Jesus died on the cross for me, that is why he was born, so he could die for my sins and for yours.  It is something I have known since childhood.  What I did not know is that I needed an advance course in forgiveness.  I thought I had this attribute down, but I have become aware that I am in need of an extended advance lesson in what forgiveness is really about.

I thought I was a person that could let things go, but I have realized that letting things go is much more than I was doing.  I also have found that when things start to accumulate then forgiveness is not happening.  When I am upset, I talk about it to people I am extremely close to and trust, pray about it and/or write about it.  I thought if I did one or all of these three things, then I was in the process of letting the hurt, pain, and disappointment go.  Well, I was wrong, or I have entered into a new kind of not forgiving, which is resentment.

I am not a resentful or jealous person, so it took me a while to recognize and then acknowledge that I am resentful toward specific people in my life.  I have such a hectic schedule that I did not even know that this was a problem from me.  It was in my discipleship class when we started to learn about forgiveness that I believe that this process started for me.  We had to list the people who have offended us, and we needed to forgive, and the people we offended and we had to ask for their forgiveness.  This sounds so easy, but is not, at least not for me.  I mean I was just totally stumped by this very simple exercise.  The thing is, it wasn't simple at all.  It was very personal and hard to talk about.  In the end the answer to both questions for me was infinity.  I just figured out that I probably offend people daily and I am not even aware of it.  It is just the nature of being human and on the planet.

The second thing that happened was a conversation I had with a co-worker, who I have supported, defended and protected.  I returned to work after my mother's surgery and was slowly getting adjusted to being back at work.  It was such a stressful time that my blood pressure had sky rocketed.  I was losing things, losing my temper and just exhausted and tired of feeling helpless.  I was finally feeling better, mom's surgery went well and she was successfully moved to rehab.  I started to feel as if my family was going to make it through the holidays.  It was at this point that my co-worker commented that I was looking better and acting more like myself.  She then commented that my mom's surgery was no big deal, it was just a hip replacement, and that when a member of her family had open heart surgery he was at the hospital by himself, none of the family was with him.  Now, I had to stop mentally and emotionally for a moment when she said this.  I know that her family member had died, and that she was not able to attend the funeral because of family conflict, but I did not know what the family member died of.  I then also remembered her asking me before I took leave was it really necessary for me to be at the hospital for my mom's surgery.  My answer was yes.  I was too out of it when she asked me to ask why would she ask me such a question.

The truth of the matter is she is angry at herself and is taking it out on me.  As she continued to talk she told me how she nor any of her family members were at the hospital when her family member had open heart surgery and that the person died after the operation.  She went on to tell me that what I was going through was not a big deal at all.  This was a person who had been so supportive, and now she was not only judging me but attacking me for my decisions.  It took all my power at that moment not to slap her.  Instead I asked her a few questions and learned that based on her decisions she was not there when her family member needed her.  I then asked her why she didn't call someone from her church to be there with her family member.  She said, "We don't ask for help, we take care of our own."  My response was, "That sounds like pride to me, everyone needs help sometimes."  This person is a fellow Christian, but at that moment she was not acting like one.  Another co-worker's ministry is to visit people in the hospital and deliver groceries when they come home.  My mom used to visit people in the hospital when they were sick as part of her ministry.  I thought that was what being a Christian in ministry was about, serving and helping others.

I was so angry at my co-worker that I kept my distance from her for the next several days.  I no longer trust her.  I thought she was supporting me through a difficult time in my life, I had no idea that she was judging me and taking out her anger of her decisions on me.  I didn't even know her when her family member passed, so I am totally innocent of any wrong doing, but the way I handled my mother's surgery offended her because she has not forgiven herself for her decisions and still feels guilty about it.  Her loved one died almost a decade ago and instead of forgiving herself for what happened she harbors resentment towards me.  I have to forgive her for her resentment and judgement of me, and pray that  God will touch her heart so that she will forgive herself and others.

Forgiving, I am learning is a process.  It is something that I have to do continuously.  I can forgive my co-worker, but I know she may say something that will make me angry again, and I will have to forgive her again.   I have to lean on God to have the strength to continue to forgive her and the wisdom to know how to deal with her, because at the moment I have just pulled back and keeping my distance.  I need God's guidance to know what to do and I know he will give it to me.

I am still angry, so I am still in the process of forgiving, which I will do.  I do not want un-forgiveness to hinder my walk, my witness or my purpose in God.  I know that it will and this woman is not worth all that.

In my discipleship class we are using the book "Growing in Christ" and chapter 4 is titled "Assurance of Forgiveness."  The memory verse for chapter 4 is:

1 John 1:9

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Remember in college when you had required reading and then suggested reading, well as wonderful as my class is, the book "The Power of a Praying Woman" has blessed me so much.  Chapter 3 is titled 'Lord Help Me Be a Forgiving Person" by Stormie Omartian. I have already read the chapter twice, but I will be reading it one more time.  I need to, so I can be the forgiving person that God has called me to be.  At the end of each chapter there is a prayer and Bible verses.  The Bible verses are:

Luke 6:37

New International Version (NIV)

Judging Others - This is a promise.

³⁷ “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 

Proverbs 19:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ A person’s wisdom yields patience;
    it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Matthew 5:44-45

New International Version (NIV)

⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

1 John 2:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

Matthew 6:14-15

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

It is my hope and prayer that you are enjoying this holiday season.  Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

2012 - The year I almost missed Christmas

  I almost missed Christmas this year.  How was this possible?  I was so busy, trying to get everything done, that I totally pushed Christmas out of my mind.  I tend to overbook myself.  It is a quality that I am trying to get under control.  I like being busy, being engaged, doing all sorts of things and that often leads me into overdrive and leaves me totally exhausted.

 I know believe this all started when I enrolled in a graduate study program with my school system and George Mason University.  It wasn't something I had planned to do.  I received an e-mail about the program, read it briefly and deleted from my work e-mail account.  A week or so later, I received the e-mail again.  I was slightly surprised by this, but have learned that when something I reject comes around again, it is worth a second look and more consideration.  To make a long story short because of my involvement with this program,  I have visited the site of a Freedman who owned much of the land which is now Elliott City, MD, have attended two Civil War Re-enactments, and have written a letter to my senator, that has been forward to the Department of Education for consideration.  This did not happen overnight, it took a lot of time, and will take more as the program does not end until the end of next spring.

I also decided to become involved in an outreach ministry in my church as well as the three year discipleship training program.  Both of which are excellent, but are also time consuming and at times demanding.

In October I attended two educational conferences where I made presentations, represented my union and won an award.  I was so tired by the end of October, that when my family learned that mom needed another surgery it hit us all very hard.  I was worn out. We were all angry and hurt.  We were angry because mom had been telling her doctor she was not feeling well, and basically he ignored her concerns and recommended treatment that made her condition worse instead of better.  It was only after she and my father found another doctor, and mom had to undergo more test, that we learned the truth, and time was not on her side.  I have never seen my father so angry, disappointed, and hurt.  I am just thankful that my parents had the option to find another health care professional.

Once we all recovered from our shock, angry, disappointment and hurt, we focused on what needed to be done for mom.  Her surgery date was set for early November.  She went through a number of tests preparing her for surgery.  Dad took her to appointment after appointment.  It was something that neither one of them enjoyed but it had to be done.  The week before her surgery mom became ill as did I.  When she went for her final pre-surgery appointment she was informed that she was not strong enough for surgery.  This hit us all hard too.  A delay.  We all wanted this nightmare of pain (mom was in severe pain) to be over, but there was nothing to do but wait and allow mom to fully recover from the cold she had.

It took dad staying on the phone with mom's healthcare providers, but her surgery was rescheduled to the second week of December.  There is an entire back story of my father dealing with insurance agencies, medicare, the hospital, housing for us while mom was hospitalized, transportation, me taking leave, my brother taking leave and flying in from Alabama, again, and endless other details that had to be taken care of by all of us to make sure mom was taken care of.  In the midst of all this, I still had to work and do a good job at it, continue on with my graduate program and church ministries and training.  I have learned more than once that everyday life does not stop just because you or someone you love is having health crisis.

It was three weeks before Christmas and I wasn't ready, wasn't ready at all. I hate
shopping in crowded malls and tend to slowly buy things all year long for Christmas presents.  This loathing of crowded noisy shopping malls allowed me to slowly put together eight gift baskets for my teachers and fellow members of my church discipleship class.  A dear friend invited me over one Saturday, and I finally started making my Christmas cards, before mom's surgery she overspent at a Family Christian Book Store sale, and I bought what she was going to return, and finally I finished my Christmas shopping at Bijoux Terne, a gift shop at Sinai Hospital where mom had her surgery and rehabilitation.  I was in good company, I learned that many of the hospital staff also shop at Bijoux Terne for their Christmas gifts, it is on my list of places to shop next year.

I do not know how I did it, but not only did I get the eight gift baskets done for my classmates, but twelve gifts for co-works, four for our neighbors, my parents, my brother, and a few close family friends. I also made 48 Christmas cards.  Twenty five of them were not sent out until Christmas Eve, and all arrived after Christmas, but I was determined not to miss Christmas.  I almost did, but in the end I managed to pull it together and get it done, even if I was a bit late.

The greatest thing about this Christmas for me was just being home for the holidays. I have enjoyed the time off from work, getting the much needed rest that I need.  Mom is recovering and we are all supporting her, and I have been slowly been able to get to some projects I have been desiring to do around the house.  Here in Maryland we have even had some snow.

I am just so thankful that God sent his only begotten son to be born and to intercede and die for you and me.  I hope each one of you is enjoying this holiday season.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Bible Passage

Psalm 103

New International Version (NIV)

Psalm 103

Of David.

¹ Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

SALT - What's it worth?

As millions of people around the world prepare to celebrate Chistmas, we here in the United States have faced yet another tradgedy.  It was shocking to learn of the events of Friday, December 14th at Sandy Hooks Elementary School in Newtown, CT.  A young man 20 years old broke into the school and gunned down six staff members and twenty students.  Twenty people lost their lives within a few minutes.

The reactions to this last shooting has been one of outrage, anger, sympathay and calculated silence.  President Obama has addressed the families that lost their family members, and the Congress will once again have to face the issue of guns in America.

People are asking where was God in all of this?  Why did he let this happen?  Why didn't he stop it?  These are all good questions and the answer is he was there, but we must not forget that each of us has free will.  We make decisions each and every day.  Often we forget that our decisions impact other people.  When people decide not to accept God's love and salvation, then they face the world without his complete protection.  As much as God loves each one of us he does not force us to accept his love or his salvation.  He allows each of us to make that choice for ourselves.  If we reject him he does not give up on us.  He continues to present us with times and opportunies to receive what he has for us.  When we continue to reject God we harden our hearts, which makes it harder for us to receive God's love.

The good news continues to be, that no matter what, God will be ready with open arms to receive us when we make the decision to receive what he has for us.  The young man who committed the horrible mass shooting in Newton may have totally rejected God's love, but God never rejected him or turned his back on those killed that day.  We will never know or understand why this happened, but I know it is not because God does not love the people who were lost, or that they did something wrong, that's not how God works.

As his children we must represent him here on Earth.  We are to have his characteristics, to be salt.  Salt heals and preserves, and flavors.  This is what we are to do in this world as we witness to people about God.   People need to know that he is our Healer.  He is our provider and he preserves us, and he flavors us to be more like him so that we can touch the world and be a blessing to each other and this world. 

What happened in Newtown was horrific.  It is hurtful and discouraging.  We all have been impacted by it, but in these times as in all times, those who love the Lord are called to be the salt of the Earth.

Bible Verse

Matthew 5:13

New International Version (NIV)

Salt and Light

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot